Lord of Catan

Gather round, friends, as I tell you a tale. A glorious tale, of adventure and intrigue and triumph. It is a tale of an island called Catan.

It must have been, oh, around 18 hours ago when it all started. I began settling Catan, along with Alan, Catrin and c-lo, and in short order Alan and I had emerged as the clear favourites to win (where "winning" means "getting to 13 victory points" [where "victory points" probably means, like, "big hunks of gold" or "bombs to destroy your enemies" or something]).

Now, the lead went back and forth a few times, with no obvious victor emerging. But then, with Alan at 10 points and me at 9, I spotted an opening: two separate openings to score two points, which would give me an immediate victory.

I was one bloody card away from winning.

Well, I took the Longest Road card, but I just couldn't get that last paper I needed. Of course, the others weren't about to let me get it if they could help it, so they ganged up on me (even more so than usual). Not only did they keep me away from paper, but they maanaged to reduce my complement of cards and stole away my Longest Road card, in the process making it nearly impossible for me to get it back.

I was more than one card away from winning.

Time passed. A lot of time, in fact; I was stuck at 9, Alan was hovering around there, and due to severe everything-but-spite shortages, no one was managing to do much of anything. And, well, the story gets pretty boring at this point. A whole lot of not much went on for a whole lot of time. Eventually, I managed to collect enough paper to build that metropolis (which totally makes sense), despite everyone conspiring against me. But I was still two points short, and I was going to have to fight for them.

Then came a glorious turn. After struggling for ages to collect the necessary resources, I climbed over mountains, braved the prairie sun, cut my way through forests, and finally emerged at a suitable clearing: I gathered my wheat, my wool, my brick and my wood, and after much work, where once there was nothing, there was now a settlement.

My work was not done though. I made my way across the island again (this time remembering to take the road that had been helpfully laid out), until I came across another settlement. I set down my masses of ore and wheat, and once again set to work. Soon, this once-forgettable settlement had been transformed into a glorious city.

And with that, I had emerged victorious--something close to an hour after I had previously come so tantalizingly close.

The moral of the story: Do not try to stop me. You'll only lengthen and increase your suffering.